Chances
by 1029
Summary: Hotch spent five years believing his wife was dead, but when he sees her alive, across a restaurant, he learns that Strauss lied to the team about her death. Now they must deal with the consequences of her actions and JJ's aminesa. Will they be able to repair their broken family? Or is JJ too different of a person now?
1. Chapter 1

**So I really love the concept behind this story and I have the next couple of chapters already in a rough draft so hopefully it will be updated every couple of days. Let me know what you guys think. This chapter is purely just to set up the situation and the real plot will begin next chapter.**

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><p>I don't own criminal minds<p>

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><p>Beth gave her fiancé another nudge, "Aaron," she said sharply.<p>

Hotch snapped out of his daze, the dinner conversation between him and Beth's parents had been so boring he found himself checking out all together. "Sorry honey," he apologized.

"So Beth," he mother continued. "When do you plan on moving back to D.C?"

"The end of the week," Beth answered. "We have lots to do with the wedding coming up."

"Yes," Hotch agreed as a part of his contribution to the conversation, that was when he saw a flash of her. For a moment he thought it was just his subconscious, but she was there! Two tables over sitting with another man. It wasn't just another delusion. "Excuse me," Hotch said as he rose, all rational thinking gone.

"Aaron what are you doing?" Beth called.

Hotch ignored Beth as he approached her from behind, he would recognize her anywhere despite that it had been nearly five years. "Excuse me," he gently touched her shoulder. "JJ?"

JJ turned to face a familiar man, looking at her in complete awe. "Do I know you?" She asked. She didn't want to come across as bitchy, something about him was defiantly familiar. "JJ?" He asked

"Yes, but no one has called me that since god I don't know," she responded. "Did we go to college together or something?"

"No JJ it's me, Aaron" Hotch protested. "I thought you were dead. You don't remember?"

"You must be thinking of someone else," JJ said. "Because I'm very much alive."

Hotch started to feel the room spinning. "You're right I'm sorry. Can you just confirm to me that your name is Jennifer Jareau?"

"Yes it is," JJ replied with furrowed brows.

Hotch stumbled away from the table and towards the direction of the bathrooms.

"Aaron are you crazy?" Beth began chasing after him.

"Just give me a minute," he mumbled, pushing open the door to the men's room. His reflection in the mirror looked pale and distraught. He knew it was her, but he knew it was impossible. Hotch quickly dialed the first number on his phone. After two rings the person on the other end picked up. "Dave," Hotch chocked out. "I think I'm losing my mind."

"What's wrong?" Dave teased. "Don't tell me dinner with the in-laws is that bad."

"No no," Hotch stammered. "JJ's here."

"Oh Aaron," Rossi paused. "It's normal to feel a little guilty about moving on."

"No she's here in the restaurant and she calls herself JJ and she doesn't remember me!" Hotch protested.

"I think you need to leave that poor girl, whoever she is alone," Rossi said, growing increasingly worried for his friends mental state.

"Come see her," Hotch said.

"Aaron I'm not driving up to New York."

"Then take the train, but she's here and I need you to see her. Hurry!" Hotch hung up the phone before Rossi could respond, he knew the older man would be wortied and come up to New York to check on him.

Ten minutes later Hotch had managed to calm himself down enough to slow down his departure from the restauraunt as best he could. He ate at a maddeningly slow pace, engaged in coversation, and even paid off the waiter to delay JJ's order. And every so often he would catch her looking back at his table.

Less than an hour later Rossi entered the restutaunt followed closely by Strauss. Hotch frowned when he looked at the time. "You didn't need to take the jet," he said.

"Agent Hotchner I need a word," Strauss said. Rossi nodded, but it wasn't towards Hotch it was towards Strauss.

"Dave what is going on?" Beth questioned as Hotch followed Strauss out the door.

The street was erily silent as Strauss tried to gather her thoughts. "It's her isn't it?" Hotch asked. He took Straus's lack of reply as a yes. "What did you do?"

"Before the accident Agent Jareau was being recruited for a special task force in Afghanistan, a transfer that both of you kept backstopping," Strauss explained. "They were going to force her to go anyway, and then the explosion happened, she has severe amniesa."

"So you decided that she would just be dead?" Hotch spat.

"It wasn't just my descision," Strauss countered. "It came from above my pay grade."

"Her last memory was before she even graduated college," Strauss said.

"We have children!" Hotch exclaimed. "Who spent the last five years without their mother! She would have gotten better if she came home, but you took everything away from her!"

"I'm so sorr-"

"Save it," Hotch spat. "Why are you here? To tell me I can't talk to her?"

"No I'm here to introduce you," Strauss said. "JJ doesn't remember you, but she knows me."

"Fine," Hotch said.

"One more thing," she added. "I want you to make sure this is best. I know her now, she's a little different than you would remeber."

"She deserves to know," Hotch said. "I think JJ would agree."

"Okay," Strauss led Hotch and Rossi over to JJ's table. "Jennifer, Greg," she greeted.

"Erin," JJ stood and gave Strauss a hug.

"Can we talk for a moment Jen?" Strauss asked, numbly returning JJ's hug.

"Can't it wait?" JJ asked.

"No," Strauss said gravely. "There's something I have to tell you, and I don't think you'll ever forgive me."

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><p>I recognized you instantly. All of our lives flashed through my mind in a split second. I felt a pull so strongly towards you that I almost couldn't stop it.<p>

-J. Sterling


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next chapter. I know this story isn't the most realistic way things happen in the FBI, so I guess you'll have to suspend some disbelief. I hope you enjoy! Please R&R**

**Disclaimed!**

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><p>"You're lying," was all JJ said. She sat calmy and listened to Strauss recount the tale of what led them to that night's events and the only logical explanation she could come up with was that her friend was lying. "I know you're lying because you're my friend."<p>

"Jen I'm not lying," Strauss repeated.

Hotch sighed, if he were in JJ's position he would believe he was being lied to as well. Wordlessly, he pulled out his wallet and showed her a picture.

JJ took the picture and felt her breath hitch. The familiarity of the moment. There was no doubt the woman wearing the simple, elegant wedding gown was her. Her arms were wrapped around Hotch, while she smiled directly into the camera. Two younge boys beamed on either side of the couple. "This is real," she whispered.

"Yes," was all Hotch could reply, as tears welled in JJ's eyes.

Suddenly her eyes flashed with anger. "You took me away from my family," she accused Strauss. "You used my aminesa against me, and now I don't remember anything."

"It wasn't just my decision," Strauss pleaded, grabbing the younger woman's arm.

"I don't care," JJ snapped, flinching at her touch. "Stay away from me."

"Jen I'm so sorry," Strauss apoligizied.

"What else was I like?" JJ asked. She was clearly ignoring Strauss's pleas. "It could be anything."

"You were the media liaison for the Behavioral Anylasis Unit, loved going on long runs," Hotch listed.

"Could make a mean chocolate cake," Rossi interjected. "Helped bring a little sunshine to our team."

"Are you heading back to D.C tonight?" JJ asked.

"Yes," Hotch answered. "Would you like to come with us?"

"Yes," JJ nodded. "I want to see my sons.I want to know who I was."

"You don't need time to process everything?" Rossi asked, but JJ only shook her head.

"Jennifer please-" Straids begged

"No fuck you Erin!" JJ snapped. "You were my friend, I trusted you with my life, you spent Thanksgiving at my house at not once did you bother to tell me about my family! So fuck you!"

Hurt radiated in Strauss's eyes while Hotch and Rossi watched the blonde in silent amazement. "I guess we better get going," Hotch finally spoke.

"Aaron could I speak to you inside?" Rossi asked. He dragged Hotch back into the restaurant. "Let me take the train back with JJ. You need to stay here and sort things out with Beth, then take a later train."

"No," Hotch protested. "Sort things out with Beth?"

"I know JJ was your one," Rossi said. "But you love Beth, you're engaged to her, and you don't know who JJ is now. There's no gaurente you two will be together."

"I don't care about that," Hotch said. "I care about her, I love her and I just found out that she's not dead after all this time. Imagine if you saw Caroline."

"Aaron I understand-"

"No, I'll talk to Beth now, but I'm taking JJ back to D.C."

"Fine," Rossi relented, he knew a lost cause when he saw one.

After sorting things out with a now extremely confused and distraught Beth, Hotch, Rossi, and JJ were on the train back to D.C. Strauss had to stay behind in New York and fix the problems that's their new discovery would cause.

"I guess we were friends," JJ said to Rossi. The way he looked at her was caring, but in a nonromantic way. The complete opposite of how she felt around Hotch.

Rossi nodded, "You could say that."

"We weren't close?" JJ questioned.

"No we were," Rossi answered. "We were friends."

"What about my other friends?" JJ asked Rossi again. "Who was I close to?"

"Mostly the members of the team," Rossi looked to Hotch warily. "They'll be glad to know your not dead."

"I would assume so," JJ nodded.

"Yeah well it hit some of them harder than others," Rossi said.

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><p>"Why isn't Dave coming with us?" JJ asked. She was sitting next to Hotch in the SUV. JJ hadn't ever been this nervous, but her stomach was in butterflies at the thought of meeting her children.<p>

"He said he didn't need to," Hotch answered.

"Where are we going?" JJ asked.

"To pick up Jack and Henry," Hotch answered again. "You said you wanted to meet them."

"Now?" JJ's eyes widened. Hotch nodded curtly, followed by a few minutes of silence. He wondered if Rossi was right about JJ needing time to process everything. She was certainly different, but somehow underneath he knew she was the same person.

"I'm sorry I don't remember you," JJ barely whispered, breaking the silent tension.

"It's not your fault," Hotch gritted.

"How long were we married for?"

"Two years, seven months," Hotch recited. "Though I suppose now we are still married."

"You have a girlfriend," JJ stated.

"Yes," Hotch agreed. "You have a boyfriend."

"Yes I do," JJ grumbled, but Hotch didn't pursue any farther. JJ sighed. "What do you think of when you think of me?"

Hotch sighed lightly. "Warmth," he answered. "Compassion, love, strong, smart, beautiful, I used to think you were home."

JJ gave a small smile at his familiarity as they pulled up next to a townhouse. "Is this it?" She asked. JJ figured she would remember her home a little bit, or at least have a sense like she had with Aaron and Dave, but this house gave her nothing.

"No the boys are staying with a friend," Hotch answered. "There's something you should know about Penelope."

"Okay."

"She was one of your best friends, and she took it very hard when you died. Penelope's a very emotional person, and I want her to see you, but I want you to be prepared for how she's going to react. Myself, I'm a little afraid she will have a heart attack."

"Got it," JJ nodded. Hotch nodded back, and led her up the path to the front door, before knocking twice.

A blonde woman with glasses, and a bright pink dress opened the door. JJ knew in her heart this person was once very important to her, and she shifted behind Hotch, slightly out of view, suddenly afraid. "Sir!" Garcia exclaimed. "I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow."

"I know I need to see Jack and Henry," Hotch said, he stepped to the side to reveal JJ.

"JJ?" Garcia chocked. "How?

"I've only just found out myself Garcia, she doesn't remember us. I can explain more tomorrow."

"But you're JJ?" Garcia asked, she was now freely crying. JJ nodded timidly. "I know you don't remember me, but can I give you a hug?" JJ nodded again and Garcia pulled her into a tight embrace and began sobbing. "I missed you so much!"

"Aunt Pen?" A little boy with JJ's blonde hair and blue eyes sprinted around the corner. "Dad!" He yelled, running towards Hotch before hugging him tightly.

"Hey," Hotch greeted picking her up. " Henry there's someone I want you to meet."

"I'm Jennifer," JJ interrupted.

"Nice to meet you Jennifer," Henry mumbled as he snuggled closer to his father. "Are we going home dad?"

"Yes why don't we go get your brother while Jen and Penelope talk?" Hotch answered, before allowing himself to be dragged back into the house.

"JJ where have you been?" Garcia asked. "Never mind I know you don't know me. You don't have to answer that."

"I spent time in Afghanistan as a part of a task force to find Binladen," JJ recited. "I guess that was right after the accident. I've spent the last three years between London and New York, free lance investigating and working for the CIA."

"Sounds exciting," Garcia observed.

"It was," JJ agreed. "But it always felt a little lonely."

"You know Hotch never replaced you," Garcia offered. "I'm sure your old position is yours for the taking you only have to ask."

"I'll think about it," JJ said.

"Think about what?" Hotch returned carrying Henry in his arms, while a young boy, about nine followed closely behind.

"Nothing," JJ said quickly. "Where to next?"

"I figured you might want to get some sleep," Hotch suggested. "So maybe we'll just head home."

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><p>Life is either a great adventure or nothing<p>

-Helen Keller

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><p><strong>For anyone confused as to when JJ's accident took place: her accident replaces the story line of her leaving the show in season 6, but JJ still did go to Afghanistan just without the memories of the team.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm really excited about this story and this chapter! I'm also excited about the next one after this, so please review and let me know what you guys think. Also a huge thank you to everyone who has read, followed, and reviewed this far.**

**Disclaimed!**

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><p>Hotch carried a now sleeping Henry through the front door of the two story suburban home. Hotch have JJ a nod asking her to wait in the foyer while he put the boys to bed, "Come on Jack bedtime."<p>

"Okay," Jack sleepily responded. "Goodnight JJ." He threw his arms around her in a hug before following his father up the stairs. Her heart plummeted, Hotch had introduced her as Jennifer, not JJ.

JJ took the time to observe her surroundings. The home was decorated warmly, not entirely unlike how she would decorate now. Family pictures hung around the home, and she was shocked to see quite a few contained her. On a side table in the foyer there was a picture of her, only slightly younger, in the hospital holding a tiny baby. She picked up the photograph a ran a hand across it longingly. What would she be right now if the accident had never happened? Would she be assisting her husband in tucking in her children? Children that she didn't even remember, but so desperately now wanted to.

A soft cough from the top of the stairs interrupted her thoughts. "I uh I think Jack knows it's you," Hotch said. "He probably recognizes you from pictures."

"I don't even remember my own sons," JJ said solemnly. "There's something there I can feel it, but I don't remember them being born, or playing with them."

"To be fair, Jack's your stepson you wouldn't remember him being born," Hotch said. "But you were a big part of his life."

"So where is Jack's mother?" JJ asked.

"She died the year before you did," Hotch answered. "Cancer."

"Oh," JJ stated. If she had in fact been a big part of the little boy's life that meant that he lost two people he loved in such a short period of time. "But Henry's both of ours? Hotch answered with a nod. "Do you ever get that feeling that you know someone or been someplace before but you don't know how? I've had that feeling a lot tonight."

"Are you tired?" Hotch asked.

"No I couldn't sleep now," JJ answered.

"Then I thought you might want to research different therapists, or look through old pictures?" Hotch suggested.

"Yes," JJ agreed.

"I'm just going to go change, do you want some clothes or something?" He offered.

"Uh sure," JJ answered. Truthfully she wanted nothing more than to curl up in a pair of baggy sweatpants. Almost as if reading her thoughts Hotch reappeared handing her a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt.

"The master bedroom is upstairs to the left if you want to change up there," he instructed.

"Thanks," JJ mumbled. She climbed the somewhat familiar steps to reach the master bedroom, that she assumed had been hers at one point. The room was large, with a cozy king bed, a dresser, two night stands, and a TV. JJ could also see that there was an adjoining bathroom, and two closets. After quickly changing, curiosity got the best of her and she decided to explore. The smaller of the closets was full of suits, and a few casual clothes while the larger walk in one was barren, save for a few cardboard boxes JJ didn't dare to open.

"Jayje you okay?" Hotch knocked softly on the door.

JJ quickly shut the closet door, before silently bounding across the room to open the door. "Yeah I'm fine," she answered. "Did you find anything?"

Hotch gave her an unsure look before answering. "I found a list of bureau recommended therapists for treating patients with amniesa."

"Sounds like a good start," JJ said. "Let's look through it."

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><p>Three days later JJ sat across from Doctor Micheal Yoon, her sudden confidence in seeing a therapist gone. "So Jennifer," the older man started. "Have you talked to anyone from your current life recently?"<p>

"You mean in the last three days?" JJ asked. "No."

"Why is that?" Doctor Yoon asked.

"I don't know," JJ answered. "My boyfriend keeps calling me, and so does Erin, and now they've got my mom involved, because she won't stop calling."

"So your mother knew you were alive?" Doctor Yoon asked, he was personally fascinated with this latest case.

JJ paused at what he was insinuating at. "I guess so," she answered.

"Have you told Aaron about the phone calls?"

"No," JJ answered. "I don't know how to talk to him."

"Why is that?"

"Aren't you supposed to be helping me remember?"

"I thought we should build a standard Therapist, Patient relationship before I attempted to help you regain your memories. That tends to make people more comfortable," Doctor Yoon answered. "Now why do you not know how to talk to Aaron?"

JJ huffed. "I don't know how to be his wife. I don't know how to be Henry's mother. The me that I know doesn't want kids because it never fit into my life." She sighed. "I guess I just don't want them to get too attached in case-nevermind."

"In case what?" He pursued.

"Never mind," JJ repeated. "Do you think my mother helped lie to me about my life?"

"I don't have an opinion," Doctor Yoon answered. "How would you feel if that were true?"

"It has to be true," JJ said dryly. "And I would feel like complete shit. Because she knew I had this family and these kids that she was hiding from me, and it's bad enough Erin lied to me, I can't handle that she did too."

"Jennifer do you think-?"

"I think your time is up," JJ pointed to the clock. She had spent more than half of the session sitting in complete silence.

"Well I guess I'll see you in two days," Doctor Yoon said. "Maybe you should try spending time with Jack and Henry alone. It will help develope a bond between you three."

JJ nodded and left the office and found Aaron waiting for her in the parking lot, just like he promised.

"How was it?" He asked.

"I didn't remember anything," JJ informed. "We just talked."

"Well that's fine," Hotch encouraged. "I thought we could get some lunch."

"Fine," JJ nodded, but one question was still burning in the back of her mind. "Did my mother go to my funeral?"

"What?" Hotch asked.

"Did my mother go to my funeral?" JJ asked.

Hotch grimaced at the memory of the fight he had gotten into with Sandy Jareau during the wake. "Yes," he answered. "I haven't seen her since. She blamed me for your death."

JJ suddenly felt nauseas. "Um excuse me I have to make a phone call."

"Okay," Hotch stepped into the car to give her her privacy.

JJ walked to the far end of the parking lot and dialed her mother's number. Sandy picked up after two rings. "Oh Jen!" She exclaimed. "Greg's been calling me worried out of his mind, he says you haven't been home in days."

JJ furrowed her brows, had her boyfriend not informed her mother that she found out about her double life? "Did he tell you why?"

"Well I just assumed you two had gotten into a fight," her mother answered.

"Mom what does that name Hotchner mean to you?" JJ asked. Silence on the other end of the line. "What about Henry?" Silence. "Answer me!" JJ ordered.

"Jennifer how did you-"

"How did I find out?" JJ finished. "The real question here is how could you not tell me?"

"I was protecting you," Sandy answered.

"Protecting me?" JJ questioned. "I have a son," she hissed. "Two sons actually."

"Aaron Hotchner was not good for you," Sandy said. "It's clear you still don't remember everything, now please come home."

"No," JJ stated firmly. "Imagine if someone had kept you from me."

"Then take Henry with you, just please come home to your family," Sandy pleaded. JJ hung up the phone, disgusted that someone close to her once again lied, however her new mystery was to find out why her mother hated Aaron so much she would keep his wife away from him.

She got in the passenger side of the SUV. "You okay?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah, why don't we pick the boys up for lunch while we're at it?" JJ suggested.

Hotch smiled, something she could tell he didn't do as often as he should. "That sounds great."

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><p><strong>The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power<strong>

**-Mary Pickford**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here is the next chapter! I promise JJ will start to remember little things within the next two chapters. I actually got so carried away writing this one that I had to cut about half of it into the next chapter. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimed!**

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><p>JJ pressed her phone closer to her ear as she attempted to block out the noisiness of the playground long enough to listen to her voicemail. She had told Hotch about Doctor Yoon's request that she spend the day with the boys, so he had suggested they all go to the playground while he went to work. JJ rolled her eyes, the playground was not really her thing, however the boys seemed to be having a good time.<p>

JJ realized that she hadn't seen the boys in a while and began to scan the playground for them. Panic suddenly started to kick in when she couldn't find them. "Henry!" She called. "Jack!" JJ began to jog around the perimeter of the wood chipped area.

"JJ!" She heard Jack's distressed call from a tree not far from her. When JJ arrived she discovered that both boys had climbed at least two stories high.

"Hey guys how'd you get up there?" She asked. Aaron was going to kill her. "How about you come down?"

"NO!" Henry screamed as he clung onto the branch.

"We can't JJ we're scared!" Jack yelled.

"You guys have to climb back down and then we can go get ice cream," JJ bribed.

"No I want daddy!" Henry demanded. "Call daddy!"

People were starting to stare as they passed by, making JJ look like mother of the year. Of course she didn't know how to be a mother, especially in a situation like this. Her own son would rather have his father than her. So she called the only person who could help. He picked up after two rings. "Aaron I need you to come down to the playground," JJ skipped saying hello.

"Jayje whatever it is you're their mother I'm sure you can figure it out," Hotch replied, he sounded like he was rushing somewhere.

"No," JJ said. "They climbed this huge tree and I don't know how, and now Henry wants you to get him down.

Hotch resisted the urge to groan, he had hoped JJ would be able to connect with their boys, but this was not looking good. "How did they get up in the tree in the first place?" He demanded.

"I just told you they climbed," JJ snapped.

"Well why weren't you watching them?" Hotch struggled to keep his voice calm.

"I was busy," JJ answered sharply.

"Forget it," Hotch sighed. "I'll be there in ten minutes."

He sharply hung up the phone, allowing JJ to turn around in time to see Henry fall to the ground with a sickening crack. "Oh my god!" She rushed to his side, although he was now screaming on the ground, and Jack was screaming in the tree. "Someone call 911," she demanded as she scooped her son up in her arms.

"Henry!" Jack yelled. "JJ!"

"Hey kid," a man in his early thirties approached the tree. "You can jump on down I'll catch you."

"Like hell you will," JJ snapped.

"Relax," he said. "I'm a cop, and I'm not going to abduct him in front of all these people."

"You better catch him," JJ said. "My husband's in the FBI." It was the only thing she could think to say to scare off a potential child abductor.

The man didn't flinch and instead began climbing the tree. Less than five minutes later he returned with Jack safely in his arms. Henry's cried were now being reduced to strangled sobs. "There you go little man," the man set Jack down next to JJ.

"Thank you so much," JJ thanked. "What's your name?"

"Name's Kyle," he introduced. "Do you want me to help take the even littler man to ER?"

"No," JJ said. "Thank you, but his father is actually on the way here, I'm sure he'll want to be the one to go with us."

"You're right," Kyle agreed, running a tan hand through his blonde hair. "I guess I'll see you around..?

"Jennifer."

"I'll see you around then Jennifer," Kyle flashed a smile.

Hotch found JJ in the park surrounded by a minor crowd next to a big oak tree. She was chatting with some man, while Henry sniffled in her arms. "Daddy," Henry cried.

"Hey bud what's wrong?" Hotch asked. He gently lifted him out of JJ's arms.

"I fell out the tree," Henry replied, before JJ could stop him. That did it. If she thought Hotch was mad at her for allowing them to climb the tree it was nothing compared to the glare she was currently receiving.

"Yeah I said he should probably go to the hospital," Kyle suggested, JJ groaned. The poor guy probably thought he was being helpful.

Hotch frowned, "Who are you?"

"I'm Kyle," he introduced. "I helped Jack here get down from the tree."

"Okay well thank you very much, but I think we have to be going," Hotch said. JJ gave Kyle a forced smile before following Hotch to the parking lot.

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><p>It didn't help JJ's case that Henry had broken his arm. He now had a bright blue cast that extended from his wrist all the way up to his shoulder. He was finished crying now, and all through dinner told his parents about how his friends were going to sign it at school.<p>

JJ was happy that Henry was no longer upset, but the rest of the evening was not quite as pleasant for her. Aaron had been ice cold towards her. He usually told her stories about her life while he cooked dinner, but tonight it was silent. She knew that once the boys had gone to bed they were going to have a long discussion about how she was such a failure as a parent.

She listened for Hotch's footsteps as he came down the steps from tucking the boys into bed. She could feel his presence standing in front of her, but she kept her eyes trained on her hands. "I'm just trying to understand what kept you so busy that they were able to wander off and then climb a talk tree?" Hotch asked calmly.

"I was listening to voicemails on my phone," JJ answered. "I'm sorry Henry got hurt."

"You're sorry?" Hotch demanded, his voice was now growing louder. "He's your son you're supposed to be upset!"

"I'm still trying to figure this out!" JJ exclaimed. "I'm trying doesn't that count for something?"

"Are you actually trying Jen?" Hotch demanded. "Or are you just going through the motions?"

"What does that mean?" JJ asked, she crossed her arms around her chest.

"I mean if you want to go back to your old life so bad then just go! But save me and the boys the trouble."

"Is that what you think?" JJ asked.

"That's what I know," Hotch said. "I think you're forgetting that I profile people for a living."

Anger flashed behind JJ's eyes. She opened her mouth to say something back, but was interrupted by a pounding on the door. Hotch let his glare linger in her for a few minutes before going to answer the door, her heart sank at the familiar voice.

JJ entered the foyer to investigate. "Greg?"

"Jen I'm sorry if this is a bad time," her boyfriend apologized. "You weren't answering my calls so I came down to D.C. and I rented a hotel, if you want to stay with me."

JJ took in Aaron's uneasy stance. It was clear he wanted her to stay, but maybe staying wasn't the best option. "Actually you couldn't have come at a better time," she responded, before rushing to capture his lips with her own. It was just a bonus that it made Aaron feel as crappy as he made her feel. "Just let me get my stuff."

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><p>"Hey," Dave greeted as he entered his friend's office. The Unit Chief had practically locked himself in his office for the last six hours. Dave didn't even think he went to the bathroom. "I thought you would be out with JJ and the boys."<p>

Hotch snorted. "It's not JJ. I might as well call her Jennifer, I'm not even her husband much less her friend."

"What happened?" Rossi asked.

"We had the worst fight we've ever had, and then she left to go shack up with her boyfriend," Hotch spat each word.

"What about the team?" Rossi asked.

"What about the team?" Hotch repeated, he was more concerned about what hewas going to tell the boys.

"You should ask her how she would feel about getting to know them," Rossi clarified. "It might make her remember."

"I don't think she cares anymore," Hotch scoffed. "But I'll ask her," he finished under Rossi's gaze.

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><p><strong>We oft know little of who we were, only something of who we are, and nothing of who we may be<strong>

**-Charlie Fletcher**


	5. Chapter 5

**So here is the next chapter. Thank you to everyone who has followed reviewed and favorited, I just want you to know that it is very appreciated. **

**Disclaimed!**

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><p>Hotch frowned as he pressed the redial button in his phone. His fingers drummed with anticipation until finally the person on the other end picked up. "Hi," he heard almost a timidness in her voice.<p>

"Beth," Hotch breathed. "I wasn't sure you were going to answer."

"I wasn't sure you were going to call," Beth countered. Hotch winced, he felt bad for not calling in four days. "I'm sorry that wasn't fair," Beth apologized.

"No it was," Hotch replied. "I'm sorry I haven't called."

"It doesn't matter," Beth chocked. "You have your wife back."

Hotch sighed, "Beth."

"I guess I won't be moving down to D.C on Saturday," Beth interrupted. "And I'm sure that's okay because I'm trying to be understanding and gracious about everything that's happened, but I can't, so I'm just going to let you go before your break my heart anymore," Hotch heard her gasp for breath after rapidly firing out her declaration.

"Beth," Hotch repeated softly, thinking of JJ currently living with Greg, and her increasing distance she had put between them. "I think you should still come down on Saturday."

"Aaron-"

"I have no intention of breaking your heart," Hotch promised. "I'm sorry I've been so distant, but you need to know that I do love and care about you."

"I love you too," Beth responded. "I'll be there around 7."

* * *

><p>"So I take it my assignment didn't go over well?" Doctor Yoon inquired.<p>

JJ rolled her eyes. She had told him everything that had happened since her last visit two days ago, from taking the boys to the park to convincing her boyfriend to drive her to theorpy this morning. "Well considering my kid broke his arm..."

Doctor Yoon grimaced. "Let's talk about Greg," he suggested.

JJ furrowed her brows. "What about him?"

"How long have you two been together?" He asked simply.

"About a year," JJ responded.

"Do you love him?" Doctor Yoon asked.

"Yes," JJ answered quickly.

Doctor Yoon scribbled something in his notepad. "Do you love Henry?"

"Yes," JJ repeated.

"Why?"

JJ felt frustration boil inside her because she knew he wouldn't find her answer satisfactory. "Because I'm his mother."

"Yes, but what traits do you love about him?"

It took JJ a moment to realize the question wasn't as complicated as she had originally thought. "He's bright," she answered. "He always seems to curious about life, and he always seems so happy."

"Good," Doctor Yoon smiled. "Now on to why you're really here. What do you know about your accident?"

JJ still wasn't used to the way Doctor Yoon bounced from topic to topic. "Um I know it was a car crash."

"Yes, but do you remember anything specific about the crash?" He asked.

"All I rember is a bright light from the side," JJ answered. "But I've always assumed it was from the crash. I've only seen it in a dream."

Dotcot Yoon clutched the police report containg the details of what happened that night. "We're going to try a technique to help bring fourth your suppressed memories from that night."

"You mean hypnosis?" JJ scoffed.

"Sort of," Doctor Yoon clarified. "It will help bring forward the memories that were once there. I believe you profilers use a similar technique."

"Not a profiler," JJ grumbled.

"This is why I wanted to build a trust between us the first session," Dotcor Yoon explained. "Now close you eyes and take a deep breath. Trust me."

JJ did as she was told. "Think back to that night," he continued. "It was dark and you were driving. The air was chilly, even in the car. Now tell me what you feel."

JJ squeezed her eyes tighter. "I don't feel anything."

"Relax," Doctor Yoon instructed. "Just focus on the things you know to be true."

_JJ's fingers were numb from the cold steeringwheel. "I wish the heat would work," she complained._

_"I hear that," a woman agreed. _JJ tried to see who was her passenger, but she couldn't see that far. "Someone's with me," she gasped. "I can't see who it is, but we're laughing about something. I don't know."

"Yes you do," Doctor Yoon encouraged. "Just focus."

_"Well long story short he ate the burnt casserole anyway just to spare my feelings," JJ continued. She could hear the woman next to her laughing still. "Poor Jack, Aaron paid him to eat it too."_

"We're talking about Aaron," JJ declared. "He ate some bad food I made."

_"Stick to baking JJ," the woman teased. Then JJ saw the bright flash, a car was driving straight at her driver's side. "JJ what the hell!" The woman exclaimed. Her brown hair whipped forward as JJ hit the brakes on the car, but it was too late the truck went smashing through her drivers side door._

JJ snapped out of her memory. "Holy crap I remember."

"Yes," Doctor Yoon nodded as he scribbled on his notepad. "And your memory was consistent with the police report from that night."

"Who was in the car with me?" JJ asked.

"According to this her name was Emily Prentiss."

* * *

><p>JJ exited Docote Yoon's office and waved to Greg waiting in his car. She indicated that she had to make a phone call before getting in the car.<p>

Greg greeted her with a passionate kiss before she could even buckle her seatbelt. "I was thinking we could head back to the hotel," he suggested.

"No," JJ sighed. "I need you to take me to Quantico."

Greg sighed and scrubbed his hand through his light brown hair. "What for?"

"I have to ask someone something very important," JJ answered vaguely. "Then we can go back to our hotel," she suggested at Greg's pout.

"Fine," he put the car in drive. "You're lucky you're cute."

* * *

><p>JJ knocked on the tech analyst's office door. "JJ!" She greeted. "You're lucky Hotch and I are the only ones here otherwise there would have been a million questions."<p>

"Sorry that thought didn't even cross my mind." JJ apologized. "Why does the team think he's not traveling."

"Henry has the flu," Garcia answered. "But more importantly why did you call?"

JJ sighed, unsure if how to phrase her question. "I remember the whole night of crash," she started. "And that's leading me to remember other little things and now I'm so damn confused."

"oh," Garcia said.

"I know you were my friend. Did you honestly think I was happy?" JJ asked.

"Yes," Garcia answered. "We were all a family, and I might not be a profiler, but I knew you were happy."

"What about my marriage?" JJ asked.

"JJ were talking about the man that you agreed to marry!" Garcia exclaimed. "I know you don't know the old you, but trust me that could not have been an easy task."

JJ chuckled, good to see some things about herself still hadn't changed. "Thank you, I think I need to go see Aaron now though."

"What made you doubt Hotch?" Garcia asked.

"Just something my mother said," JJ shrugged. "Do you know her?"

Garcia shook her head, "No, you never told me about her. The only real time I ever saw your mother was at your funeral."

JJ thought about that for a moment, and added it to her list of things to be suspicious on. "Thanks Penelope."

"If you ever need anything my door is always open," Garcia offered.

Walking to Hotch's office JJ passed by the wall of fallen agents. There it was. One over from the right, her picture still neatly hung. Her eyes were wide, her hair shone, and a delicate smile crossed her lips. JJ never felt as beautiful as the woman in that picture looked. "Do not go gentle into the night," she read.

"JJ?" She felt Hotch's presecce behind her. "I can't tell you how many times I've stared at this picture."

"Is it wierd that I was just thinking about how pretty I looked?" JJ asked.

"You always are," Hotch said, sending a wave of butterflies through JJ's stomach. She still wasn't sure if she should trust him.

"I'm sorry for running away," JJ apologized, turning to face him. "It's kind of what I do best."

Hotch chuckled. "I know, I'm sorry I accused you of not trying."

"Friends?" JJ suggested. She extened her hand.

"Friends," Hotch nodded. He warmly reached for her hand, giving it a light shake. "Is that all you came by for?"

"No, I wanted to talk to Emily Prentiss."

* * *

><p>And you, my father, there on the sad height,<br>Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.  
>Do not go gentle into that good night.<br>Rage, Rage against the dying of the light

- Dylan Thomas


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's the next chapter I hope you enjoy!**

**disclaimed!**

* * *

><p>"What made you want to see Prentiss?" Hotch asked.<p>

"She was in the car with me," JJ replied. "The night of the accident."

"How do you know that?" Hotch asked.

"Today at therapy Doctor Yoon helped me remember the night of the accident," JJ explained. "I saw her in the car with me. You never told me anyone else was in the car."

"You never asked," Hotch countered. "But you can't see Prentiss."

"I can do what I want, and I'll just wait for the team to come back from their case," JJ crossed her arms over her chest, she raised an eyebrow almost daring Hotch to stop her.

Hotch sighed and rubbed his hand across his face. "Jayje Prentiss isn't with the FBI anymore. I don't know where she is."

"What do you mean?" JJ asked.

"After the accident Prentiss left the unit," Hotch explained. "She hasn't kept in touch with any of us. Believe me Garcia tried looking."

"She just left?" JJ asked, softly."Was it because of me?"

"No," Hotch assured. "Prentiss was dealing with her own problems after the accident. She would have had to remain a desk agent for the rest of her career."

"Do you think I could find her?" JJ asked.

"Maybe," Hotch said. "But perhaps you would want to meet the rest of the team when they come back?"

JJ nodded. "Yes when will that be?"

"In about an hour," Hotch answered. "Would you want to get lunch with me and Garcia until then?"

"I can't," JJ replied. "I'm sorry. Greg's waiting for me downstairs, but I promise I'll be back in an hour."

A look of disappoitnment flashed behind Hotch's eyes. "No it's fine," he said quickly. "Ill just see you in an hour."

"Okay," JJ gave him a small smile. A part of her wanted to stay and get to know the man that she knew now she once loved, but it would be unfair to the man who currently held her heart. She turned and exited the bullpen, only after briefly glancing back at the Unit Cheif now retreating to the tech anyalist's office.

Hotch knocked gently on Garcia's door. "Are you ready for lunch?" He asked. Hotch had to admit that he now looked forward to his lunches with the bubbly agent. He found her constant energy amusing, and a much needed distraction from his own personal struggles. It also helped that she too cared about JJ as much as he did, and had some understanding of what he was going through.

"Yes," Garcia answered. She clicked off her monitor before hopping out of her seat. "Did JJ leave?" She asked.

Hotch nodded, "But she'll be back when the team returns." The pair was now waiting for the elevator outside of the bullpen.

"Sir are you sure that's a good idea?" Garcia asked. "I know she's starting to remember but-"

"Speaking of which," Hotch interrupted. "She's looking for Prentiss."

Garcia's mouth formed a small O. "Is it possible that since Strauss lied about JJ she lied about that too?"

"That's what I'm trying to fine out," Hotch answered. "I have a meeting with Strauss and the director tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Garcia questioned. "If it was all a lie then that's five years that-"

"Garcia I know," Hotch said. "But in the mean time I need you to make sure that she doesn't find her."

"Can do sir," Garcia nodded.

"Thank you Garcia," Hotch replied.

* * *

><p>Morgan plopped his go-bag on his desk, and lounged across his chair, proping his heals on his desk. "Pretty boy I cannot tell you how good it feels to be back. I plan on going home and taking me a long nap."<p>

Reid nodded in agreement. "I think I'm going to reread lord of the rings, but maybe this time I'll start from the last book in the series and work my way to the start."

Morgan furrowed is brows. "Why would you ever do that?"

Reid shrugged. "I consider them my guilty pleasure reads."

Hotch stormed through the bullpen. "Everyone confrence room. Now," he ordered.

"I swear if we have another case," Morgan grumbled.

"Quiet he could hear you," Reid warned.

"He's already in the damn conference room," Morgan observed. "With Strauss...and the director."

"What do you thinks going on?" Reid asked. "And why are Garcia and Rossi already there?"

"I'm gettin the sense we were left out of the loop," Morgan stated. Reid nodded in agreement.

The pair entered the conference room, and sat between Hotch and Rossi. The team memembers were assembled in a u formation around the table, all facing the director. Even Seaver was there, although she was supposed the be out due to a concussion in the field.

The director was a tall, older man, who gave a commanding presence and had a glare to rival Hotch's. "Thank you all for being here," he said sternly. "As you all know one of your teammates was killed in the field five years ago. This was a lie."

Morgan studied the expressions of his teammates. Garcia was crying, Reid and Seaver looked utterly shocked, but Hotch and Rossi managed to look impassive. They knew.

"This was all a lie orchestrated to get Agent Jareau to join our task force in Afghanistan to help us hunt terror cells. Though we did not plan the attack on Agent Jareau, we did take advantage of the fact that it gave her amniesa. The persons responsible for the attack are still in custody and Agent Jareau has returned to D.C. That is all," he concluded with a gruff nod.

"That's all?" Morgan loudly questioned. "You tell me my friend is alive and well and then that's all?" He now turned his attention to the man on his right. "She was your wife your not the least bit mad about this?"

"I've passed mad Morgan," Hotch said calmly. "I've had a few days to process this. I've passed mad."

"A few days?" Reid asked. "You knew for days and didn't tell us?"

"I'my sorry I didn't tell you," Hotch said. "There's been a lot to deal with Jack and Henry. I don't even believe it myself most of the time."

"Can we see her?" Reid asked. He was now glaring at the older man with an expression of hurt.

"Yes," Hotch answered. "She's in my office, but JJ doesn't remember much. She's been going to thearopy and it looks like it's going to help, but it might take time."

"What about Prentiss?" Morgan demanded.

"Morgan thats enough," Hotch ordered. "No more about Prentiss." He exited the conference room and returned a minute later with JJ.

"Hello," she greeted.

* * *

><p>"Come on guys time for bed," Hotch laughed as his sons climbed on top of him.<p>

"No we can't go to bed," Henry protested. "We have to make sure your trapped here forever."

Hotch smiled. "Well I guess you two have me beat," he pretended to sigh, before jumping up and lifting both boys off the couch. The room erupted in a chorus of giggles. "Seriously guys bed. Beth's coming down tomorrow for move in day."

Jack frowned and nudged his brother who then asked. "But what about Jennifer?"

Hotch's heart sank. "Um she was only staying with us for a little while."

"Will we see her again?" Jack asked.

"I'm sure you will," Hotch answered.

Hotch sat in the edge of Henry's bed. He had asked his father not to leave just yet, and Hotch could tell something was plaguing his son's mind. "Dad," Henry sarted. "Jack says Jennifer is my mom."

Hotch sighed. He had tried to talk to Henry as often as he could about his mother. Although he had been young when she 'died' it was still important to Hotch that he know how much she loved him, he just honestly wasn't sure how to explain the situation. "Yeah that's right buddy."

"But my mommy died," Henry stated. "That's what you said."

"Well some people lied to me and told me she died," Hotch explained. "So that mommy could go protect people. And those people that lied thought that is was okay because mommy couldn't remember anything."

"So is mommy still my mommy?" Henry asked.

"Yes she is," Hotch answered. "And she loves you very much. It's just hard for her to show it right now ."

"Okay," Henry said, satisfied with his father's answer. "Goodnight dad. I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

><p><strong>"There are two things in Indian history- one is the incredible optimism and potential of the place, and the other is the betrayal of that potential."<strong>

**-Salman Rushdie**


	7. Chapter 7

**So here is the next chapter! Sorry for the long wait between updates. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimed**

* * *

><p><em>Hotch's lips desperately crashed against hers as she began tugging his shirt out from his pants. JJ made quick work of dropping his belt to the floor, before he picked her up and they both fell on top of his desk. "God Aaron," she moaned. Hotch's eyes were filled with desire and they met hers before he began unbuttoning her shirt. This had even a long time coming, but the moment couldn't have arrived fast enough for them both. <em>

JJ's eyes flew open and she stared at the ceiling for a few moments, holding her breath. It was only a dream. A dream or a memory? She couldn't be sure, but it certainly felt real. Doctor Yoon had warned her that now that she was surrounded by her old life and attending therapy her memories would return.

"ugh," JJ groaned. She threw the covers off of her body and made her way to the hotel shower. On the bathroom counter JJ found a note.

_Went back to the city, be back tonight. Love Greg xo_

JJ crumpled the note before getting in the shower. Less than twenty minutes later she was dressed and out the door. She began mindlessly driving in the direction of Aaron's house and before she knew it she was pulling up next to his curb behind a moving van. "What the hell?" She mused.

JJ stormed up the walkway and pushed the doorbell. A brunette woman JJ vaguely recognized answered the door. But it was clear the woman knew who she was. "JJ, what can I do for you?"

"Is Aaron here?" JJ asked. She wasn't in the mood to be reintroduced to the woman standing before her.

"Uh sure," she replied. "Come in. He's helping Jack and Henry pack I'll go get him."

"Wait pack for what?" JJ questioned.

"He didn't tell you that we were moving into the new house today?"

"Oh you must be the finance," JJ observed, ignoring the tightening of her chest.

She opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by a yell from upstairs. "YES!" Henry screamed before running down the steps and nearly taking out his mom.

"Henry-" Hotch appeared at the top of the stairs. "JJ."

"Mommy I don't wanna leave I wanna live here with you and daddy," Henry hugged his mother tightly.

"Henry," Hotch said softly.

"Don't worry Henry you don't have to," JJ assured, before glaring at Hotch.

"JJ can I talk to you for a minute?" Hotch asked. She nodded her reply before following him into the kitchen. "This is an extremely confusing time for Henry, and you're not going to-"

"Why the hell didn't you tell me you were moving?" JJ demanded.

Hotch sighed. "Because I thought we were going to work things out. I know now that I was selfish and I'm sorry. You deserve to be happy and to live life however you want and not just go back to a person you used to be."

They stated at each other again. The only sounds coming from the movers carrying boxes from the other rooms. Beth entered looking exasperated. "Aaron, Henry is unpacking his suitcase. He thinks he's staying."

Hotch tore his eyes away from JJ. "I'll handle it. Just tell the movers they can start clearing in here. JJ can you come with me?"

JJ followed Hotch to Henry's room. Or so she though before he pulled her into the master bedroom. "What are you-?"

"There's somethings I want you to have," Hotch explained. He opened the walk-in closet and began carrying out boxes. "I never threw any of it away. So I guess you can have it if you want. The house too, I couldn't live here with someone who wasn't you. I also couldn't bear to sell it so..."

"Where are you moving?" JJ asked.

"Just ten minutes away. I didn't want the boys to have to change schools."

"Oh well that's good," JJ said. "You know you should have told me." Hotch nodded curtly.

"Aaron were almost ready to head out!" Beth called.

"That means I have to go make Henry pack his things. He defiantly has your stubbornness."

JJ chuckled. "I'm just going to stay here and look through all this. Do you want to get coffee tomorrow after my therapy?"

Hotch smiled. "I would love to."

* * *

><p>After the house had emptied JJ sat in the middle of her old bedroom and pulled the tape off the first box. Rummaging through it, JJ could see it mostly contained clothes, but there were a few knick-knacks she didn't recognize. At the bottom of the box she found a garment bag. JJ unzipped it to reveal a wedding gown. Her wedding gown.<p>

_Hotch popped the champagne bottle while JJ giggled and nuzzled his neck. "We're married," she observed happily while he pouted them each a glass. They were both crouched under an old table they found in the corner of Rossi's mansion. _

_"And here's to finally getting a moment alone with my bride," Hotch toasted._

_JJ clinked her glass against his. "And here's to Dave, for letting us use his garden and for having a house so big we can hide in it."_

_"Cheers," Hotch grinned before taking a sip of his champagne._

JJ furrowed her brows at the memory. She had tried over and over to remember her wedding ceremony, but alas all she could form was a memory of hiding under a table. It was almost enough to make her laugh.

She picked up a photo album and began to flip through it. There were pictures of her and Aaron along with photos of the other members of the team. She came to a stop at a group photo. They were all gathered around Rossi, who was wearing a birthday hat and sitting in front of a birthday cake, grinning from ear to ear, while JJ and Garcia each respectively placed a kiss on his cheek. In the back Hotch and Morgan were roaring with laughter while Emiley struggled to trap Reid in a party hat.

This was her family. Her heart ached for them, and from this moment on JJ would to everything in her power to get them back.

* * *

><p>"So your session with Doctor Yoon went well?" Hotch asked before taking a sip of his coffee.<p>

JJ nodded. "Yeah he prescribed me a low dose of these pills that are commonly used in patients suffering from Amniesa."

"Are you sure that's safe for you to be taking?" Hotch asked. "The accident happened years ago."

"I know. That's why its a low dose. He assured me it was completely safe." a few beats of silence passed. "So how are the boys doing? Their first night in a new house."

Hotch groaned. "Not well exactly. I don't know maybe it wasn't such a good idea."

JJ raised her eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

"I don't think it was very fair for me to make them go live with Beth when we just got you back," Hotch explained.

"We?"

"They," he corrected.

"You have me back too," JJ placed her hand over his. "Speaking of which Penelope tells me that the position for media liaison is still open."

"Jayje," Hotch sighed, pulling his hand away. "Why do you want to come back? What about your life in New York."

"I don't want that," JJ stated firmly. "I want this life. And I don't even know anything about it. Please Aaron."

"Okay," Hotch groaned. "You start Monday."

JJ smiled, "Thank you."

"So you're getting your memories back?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah," JJ responded. "Mostly big events. I'm hoping that within a couple sessions I can remember Henry being born. I also want to remember more about Emily. Maybe that will hell me know where she is now?"

Hotch visibly stiffened. "We've all put our minds to it. She simply vanished."

"There has to be more though..." JJ wondered.

"There isn't," Hotch stated firmly before rising from the table. "I have to get back to the office now."

"Um okay," JJ said at his sudden harsh demeanor.

"I'll call you tonight. We can organize something with the boys," he said before rushing out of the cafe.

* * *

><p><strong>You can never stop loving or wanting to love because when it's right it's the best thing in the world<strong>

**- Keith Sweat**


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